Elegy to a Groundhog

I'm sorry to say we had to have our neighborhood groundhog "evicted" yesterday.

It was a "permanent" eviction, if you catch my meaning.

He won't be back...ever...anywhere.

We had hoped it wouldn't come to this.
We had hoped he'd take the hints and move on.
But, he did the opposite.
Built another den with four plunge holes going under our neighbors shed
and only accessible from our yard,
started tearing apart my flower beds,
was caught red-handed eating my parsley, tomatoes and carrots.

So, we called in a professional.
He was scientific about it,
gave a lot (I mean, A LOT) of explanation about the procedure,
told me I watched too many Walt Disney movies when I was a kid,
that it was just a destructive varmint
like a big rat
that needed to be destroyed.

He assured me it would be done humanely,
that the trap made it quick.
And I think it was.
No sign of any struggle.
I don't think he suffered.

Still I'm a little sad about it.
So, in honor of the Groundhog, I've written the following:

"Elegy To A Groundhog "

Up in Groundhog Heaven
there's empty fields all around
full of greens
and giant soybeans
you can eat 'em by the pound.

Up in Groundhog Heaven
no one gives a hoot
if you dig some holes
invite the moles!
and eat the carrot root.

Up in Groundhog Heaven
the days are long and warm
the only threat
is you might get wet
from a passing summer storm.

Up in Groundhog Heaven
your friends will all be there
to run and play
or roll in zee hay
without a worry or care.

Up in Groundhog Heaven
just past the Pearly Gate
there lies a glen
where you'll build a den
in which to hibernate.

Up in Groundhog Heaven
I'll see you there someday
I'll look high and low
just to say "hello"
then I'll be on my way.