Go Jump Off A Cliff Notes

Where was I...

Oh yeah. Coming to conclusions.

And here are the results:

I have come to the conclusion that learning another language is more difficult than becoming
a doctor or passing the bar exam. It's even more difficult than graduating with a degree in
Theatre Arts.

The process involves intense concentration, endless frustration and frequent kicks in the
cojones, which I don't think exist in the feminine tense but, since there is no feminine tense
in the English language, cojones it is!

And, it is for these reasons that I think EVERYONE should study a foreign language.

I read that people are now working on Sudoku puzzles to exercise their brains. They
think that by working on some little baby puzzle they'll avoid Alzheimer's, or something.

Well, I'm here to tell you that Sudoku puzzles are the ultimate time wasting activity; and
that if you're inclined to getting Alzheimer's, you're going to get it no matter what, so
instead of spending whatever time you have left sitting around staring at a puzzle book,
get out there and look around you, look up at the sky in wonder, crab about the traffic
and, for Godsakes, talk to other people and, especially, talk to people who speak English
as a second language. Help them out, help yourself out.

I think everyone in the southern United States should speak English AND Spanish. It
should be required. And, everyone in the north should have to speak French.

And, I think that if you can't pass your driver's test in your newly learned second language,
then YOU DON'T GET TO DRIVE! Boy, would that ever eliminate the traffic congestion
problem.

Anyway, alls I'm sayin' is, it's really hard, language learning is. And, I'm here in the thick
of it, too, immersed in this can of chunky beef Italian stew, trying to keep my head up,
living, breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping and bumping into Italian everywhere I go,
thinking that one day it's all just going to come together and that on that special day,
the clouds will part, the angels will sing, a single ray of light will shine down on my little
punkin head, and I'll miraculously start rapping away, not just in Italian, but in the
Romano dialect, which is so insane it makes me laugh.

I think it makes me ornery, too.