Talking To The Walls

I made a startling realization this morning.

I asked The Man to go and make us an espresso.
He goes in the kitchen and then it starts:
"Don't we have any coffee?"
"Where's the coffee?"
"Where's the coffee maker?"
"I can't get the lid off this thing!"
"What? There's no milk!"

Now, in the past, upon hearing this litany of questions and exclamations,
I would stomp in there, tell him "Geesh! You can't even make a coffee!"
I'd grab everything and do it myself, saying "If I suddenly died you'd stand
in here like a cow in a box canyon and helplessly starve to death."

Then I'd hand him his coffee and walk out in a big huff.

HOWEVER, this morning, I figured it out!

I have been so wrong!

All these years I've been assuming that The Man was talking to ME when he
went into the kitchen to do something.

WRONG!

He was talking to the CUPBOARDS!

And, he frequently talks to the refrigerator, as in "I thought we had
peanut butter in here!"

He talks to the cupboards the way I talk to my plants!
It makes perfect sense, when you think about it.

So, I owe The Man a big apology.
My perceptions have been all topsy-turvy.
I am sooooo sorry.

However, I think my "box canyon" theory is correct.