No Excuses

I have no excuse to offer.

I haven't been ill.
I haven't been too busy.
I haven't had my computer stolen.
I haven't been locked up in an insane asylum, although I probably shouldn't write that because
it'll just give The Man ideas.
I haven't been on a secret mission involving lots of international travel, late nights spent in
high-stakes casinos wearing slinky evening gowns dripping in my birthstone (that's diamonds
to you, buster), climbing snowy peaks, or para sailing into river gorges full of piranha and
leeches, detonating minor explosives, lots of gunfire at the most inopportune moments, all
this in order to save the planet - which, HAD I done, obviously would've been successful
because you're all still here and so am I...or whatever.

I just haven't written, that's all.

And, now I'm almost too depressed to write.

Look, I usually don't comment on political events. I try to avoid religion, too, but this
financial bailout is the straw that has broken this camel's back. It's extremely troublesome
and depressing and aggravating and depressing and hideous and worrisome and sad,
and did I mention depressing?

How do I opt out of this? You know, usually when there's some new government deal
like the Medical Prescription Program or when you pay your taxes they ask you if
you want to donate $1.00 to the Presidential Re-election Campaign Fund and you
get the chance to OPT OUT. Well, I want to OPT OUT of paying any part of the
$700 billion. How do I do that? Which box do I check?

What's that you say?
I don't get a choice in this?
That's so funny.
I thought we lived in a democratic society.

Silly (depressed) me.

Remember the song "The Battle of New Orleans?"

Well, in eighteen and fourteen we took a little trip
along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip.
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans,
And we caught the bloody British near the town of New Orleans.

We fired our guns and the British kept a'comin.
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they began to runnin'
down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.

My brother had that record when we were kids and we knew every word by heart.
I especially liked the BACON part. But the reason I'm bringing this up is because
I also liked Colonel Andrew Jackson, 7th President of the United States, and wasn't
Charleton Heston great when he played him in the movie "The Buccaneer."

Anyway, in 1832, President Jackson told a delegation of bankers the following:

“Gentlemen, I have had men watching you for a long time,
and I am convinced that you have used the funds of the bank
to speculate in the breadstuffs of the country. When you won,
you divided the profits amongst you, and when you lost, you
charged it to the bank. You tell me that if I take the deposits
from the bank and annul its charter, I shall ruin ten thousand
families. That may be true, gentlemen, but that is your sin!
Should I let you go on, you will ruin fifty thousand families,
and that would be my sin!

You are a den of vipers and thieves.
I intend to rout you out, and by the eternal God, I will rout you out.”

Now those are the words of someone I would vote for. We need men like "Old Hickory."
We need REAL MEN and not a bunch of mambie pambie, politically correct, wimpy,
unctuous, limp-hand-shaking, weak chinned, double dealing, crooks!

"By the eternal God, I will rout you out!" I mean that is so great!

I can't wait to use that line on The Man!