Alls I'm sayin' is...

I like the sound of that phrase.
It flows.

Does "alls" take an apostrophe?
If you're shaking your head "yes" then I need to ask you why.
It's not possessive.
It's not a contraction.
But, I agree, it looks funny without one.

Back where I come from
they didn't use the "s" in alls.
and maybe in some highbrow places they say,
"All that I am saying is..." in nice, crisp, enunciated, poofy syllables.

It's an interesting phrase.
One that I take note of when I hear it
because I wonder why the person is saying it.

Why would someone need to say that they're saying something?
Isn't it enough to just say it?

Maybe I'm missing something.
Maybe saying "alls I'm sayin' is" is a good thing.
Maybe I need to hear an example.

Let's pretend The Man and I are lost on some dark, country, Dueling Banjos-type back road because The Man ignored my explicit instructions to turn left at an intersection about ten miles back and now we're forty-five minutes late for a dinner given in our honor at a friend's house and I've just looked up and noticed a strange configuration of pulsating lights in the sky hovering just above our car and suddenly the power has gone out and the car has died...
right there...in the dark...on that lonely stretch of Godforsaken road.

Okay, got the picture?

Now, following are two choices of dialog. You pick one in each case, A or B.
Mentally check off the comment you think is the better of the two:

Me:

A) "Alls I'm sayin' is you should'a turned left and we'd be there by now, Darlin'."

B) "WE ARE SO TOTALLY SCREWED!"

The Man:

A) Alls I'm sayin' is you should'a told me about that left turn BEFORE I got to it and not after we'd driven past it, Honey.

B) ARE YOU NUTS! WHY ON EARTH DID YOU ASK ME TO DRIVE? YOU KNOW I CAN'T SEE OR HEAR! IT'S A MIRACLE THEY RENEWED MY DRIVER'S LICENSE AND YOU LET ME GET BEHIND THE WHEEL???!!! AND NOW YOU'RE BLAMING ME?! HA! THAT'S A GOOD ONE!!!

Me:

A) Alls I'm sayin' is maybe one of these nice martian men with the cute little suction-cup fingers, staring in through the window could tell us how to get where we're goin' and we could just be on our way, Sugar.

B) OH MY GOD! WE'RE BEING ABDUCTED!! WE ARE SO DEAD!

Later, The Man sums it up by saying

"Well, Sheriff, alls I'm sayin is they told me they only had room for one more human."