Atypical Conversation

Me: Why are you looking at me like that?

The Man: I wasn't looking at you. I was looking in your direction.
Kind of like when an actor looks toward the camera. He's not really looking at you.
I know you probably think he's really looking at you, but he's not.

Me: So that means when you're talking to me you're not really talking to me.
You're merely an actor saying his lines.

The Man: Well, yes, that's right.

Me: Hmmm. So, where's the OFF button.

The Man: What?

Me: The OFF button! If you're just an actor gazing in my direction and speaking
your lines, I want to turn this DVD O-F-F!...or at least change channels.


This is what I have to put up with ON A DAILY BASIS!

It's just like going to Duluth!

First thing this morning he says he's going to take a 25 hour bus ride.
Then, the next thing I know, I'm upstairs packing because I've decided
to drive him there to meet up with the Captain and The Isadora so that
maybe, if he makes up his addled mind, he will take the ship back to Spain,
then make his way to Rome. He could have caught the ship in Burns Harbor,
that's only a four hour drive from here, but NOoooo, he couldn't make up
his mind on that particular day, so he tells the Captain that he's NOT going
to make the trip. I figure the whole thing is a wash, but that was THREE
DAYS AGO and we're still MAKING UP HIS MIND!!

This movie needs a director!
And, who on earth wrote this script?!