Enough Already

You know what I think
when I look at this photo?

"My hair looks great!"

The second thing I think
is, "How old am I? Ten?!"

The other second thing I
think is, "Exactly what is
that expression on my face
supposed to be?"

I mean, what the hail is that?
Somebody gimme a magnifying
glass! I needs to make me a
zammination.

Lemme see. The eyes kinda scrunch up and look real sincere, like there isn't anybody else
on the planet Earth. The mouth goes like this in a trusting smile that says, "I'll follow
you to the end of the moon AND always be on your side because you are always right
no matter what! The chin is doin' somma dat, "I love Youyouyou, You Are The King
Of The World! kinda stuff.

Yeow! That expression kinda hurts.

I must have drunk me a bottle of Love Potion No. 9 that morning.

Now, when-oh-when did I last gaze at The Man like that?....

..."I'm thinking!," as Jack Benny said after the hold-up man stuck a gun in his ribs
and said for the SECOND time, "your money or your life."

Oh, well, as another favorite of mine, Scarlett O'Hara would say, "I can't think about
that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, in case anyone was wondering about whether or not The Man got me a present
or not, well, no, he didn't. He wouldn't bow to the pressure. However, he did give
me permission to go back to the Hahn Farm and buy more beets. So, I did!

I didn't get any diamonds, but I got beets! And when you think about it, what's
the big difference? They both come outta the ground, don't they?!

Now, don't I sound jes like that little dummy girl in the picture? The Man told me
I deserved beets and, by Job, I got me some.

The refrigerator was chock full of beets and the beet greens. I had so many beets
that I finally decided I'd better can some, so I now have about seven pints of pickled
beets on the counter, and those pints are gonna last until my next anniversary, at
which time I will officially announce that I'm changing my birthstone from diamond
to...BEET!

AND, in case anyone is wondering what I got The Man for his 30th Anniversary, he
got a special Spode dinner plate with an engraving of a Rome scene printed on it.

So, now when he eats my beets he jabs his fork in the heart of St. Michael, standing
atop Castello St. Angelo, along the Tiber in Rome...which gives me an odd sense of
satisfaction.

I don't know why.