Chinese Trip

So, we decide to get Chinese food for dinner.

There happens to be a great little place right here in Lime Plant City AND I just happen to have a copy of their take-away menu neatly folded in the cupboard because I'm just so organized.

So, I make some choices after consultation with The Man. He can't read menus, not unless there are a lot of pictures involved, in which case he just points and indicates his desire. I tell him he really liked the Moo Goo Gai Pan the last time. He trusts my memory and says, "okay." Then I add a couple of other dishes to the list and phone in the order. They tell me, "Ten minutes."

We get in the car and go there, all happy because we're gettin' Chinese food. Oh, boy!

We walk in the door and there are pictures all over the wall, pictures of food, food that they serve, food they have listed in the take-out menu. In a blinding flash of insight lasting about a millionth of a second, before even saying hello to the girl behind the counter, my bionic vision computes that it wasn't Moo Goo Gai Pan that The Man really loved the last time. IT WAS THE MOO SHU PORK!

My brain starts firing ballistic missiles with the words "SOLVE THIS PROBLEM" stenciled on the sides and they're ricocheting and exploding all over inside my head. It suddenly becomes extremely important that The Man should not be disappointed. Why? I don't know. (Note to myself: when I get an analyst discuss why The Man should not be disappointed.)

Our order was in the works, so I couldn't cancel the Moo Goo. Instead I say, "I would like to add a small container of Moo Shu Pork to our order." The girl says that it only comes in the large size. I say okay, give us the large. Boom, a direct hit - problem solved, Sir.

All the while The Man is staring at all the food photos on the wall, completely disengaged.

I pay the bill and The Man carries the heavy bag of food containers to the car. Now, we have his attention.

"What is all this stuff?" he asks. "What did you order?" "Why is this so heavy?"
"Because I couldn't cancel the moo goo and now we have moo goo and moo shu in the bag." I explain.
"How much did all this cost?" he demands to know.

That's the final blow because he doesn't really care how much it costs, he just wants me to feel like I've done something bad and wants me to feel guilty, and he knows that if he mentions the cost of the thing I will feel very guilty because I always have guilt about spending anything especially in this case because I messed up the original order and now I've over-ordered and have two things that start with "moo" and it's all too heavy and we practically need a dolly to carry it to the car.

That's what I was thinking.

The Man was thinking something along the lines of: bag heavy, how much.

Anyway, all communication systems shut down and we drive home in silence. Interestingly, the weight of our silence equaled that of our bag of food.

We get home and start taking out the various cartons, plastic-lidded plates and cute little containers of sauces, plus fortune cookies. And what's really weird is that I notice our moods are lightening in ratio to the items removed from the bag. Somehow we are manifesting everything that is happening to this bag of Chinese Take Out!

So, late that night we both get really cold in bed and I start thinking it's because I've put the left over food in the refrigerator and that I should go downstairs and get it out and put it on the counter so it won't be cold anymore. But, then I think some bugs will get in it and that means they'll get in us, and well, I think at that point I fell back asleep.

But, that was some great Chinese food, let me tell you.