Terminal

Terminal F, Charles de Gaulle Airport, waiting.

It's a nice terminal, new. But, there are a few things wrong with it. First of all, there aren't enough seats for the waiting passengers. Perhaps they weren't expecting eighty million people at once, as were there the morning of our flight.

Secondly, the two concession stands are inadequate and located in the center of the gate area down about 10 stairs. I mean, picture yourself, loaded down with all that carry-on baggage you just had to bring with you, and you want something to drink. To get it you must lug all your stuff DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS?! Little "rolling" bags are rendered useless. And, why did they think it necessary to put people in some hole in the middle of the floor while they eat. It's not appetizing to look down on a eating area. As I stood there debating whether or not to get a cup of coffee, it looked like feeding time at some creepy zoo. All those beings down there, under my gaze, just sitting there chewing. It was depressing.

I went back to a seat The Man was saving for me near our gate. He was calm, reading. I was calm, too. I was calmly planning an insurrection. "Come on, People! Follow me! We are human beings, not animals! We can't allow such abuse. They stormed the Bastille for less!" - all with "La Marseillaise" booming on the p.a. system.

The Man decided to go find the bathroom. I told him, "you have to go down the stairs...over there, mon guerrier." He left and I went back to my revolution.

A while later he returns.

she: Did you find the stairs down to the bathroom without problem?
he: No, I took the escalator.
she: You can't take the escalator. It goes to the first class lounge.

(Pause while storm clouds of comprehension gather in her brain.)

he: Yeah, I know.

He said he saw the people sitting in a very nice, comfortable area and decided to join them. They gave him free coffee and cookies. He sat for a while before deciding he'd better get back to me in the kennel area.

I asked him, "Didn't they ask to see your ticket when you entered?" "Didn't someone stop you?" He said, "No, two guys at some desk were talking and they didn't even look at me."

I think he "Obi-Wan-Kanobied" them.

If I had tried that they would have had the equivalent of a Gendarme Swat Team, weapons aimed, yelling at me to "Drop. Now. On your face, dead woman!" I would have been hauled away, humming "Non, je ne regrette rien," never to see the light of day again. I almost certainly wouldn't have made my flight.

But, the Angel Boy just saunders right in there and has a good ol' time.

It's a good thing he didn't sneeze. That would have been the dead give-away.